Navigating Grief and Loss: Practical Tools from a Portland Therapist

Grief is one of the most human experiences we can have. It is also one of the most misunderstood. Many people think of grief only in the context of death, but grief can come from the loss of a relationship, an identity, a home, a dream, a community, a past version of yourself, or a sense of safety. Loss changes the landscape of your life, and grief is the emotional response to that change.

Even when we know loss is part of life, living through it can feel overwhelming. You might find yourself swinging between numbness and deep emotion, or between wanting connection and wanting to withdraw. There might be days that feel manageable and days that surprise you with a wave of sadness. Grief is not linear and it never follows a predictable timeline.

As a Portland therapist who supports adults through grief and major transitions, Anne-Marie Basso understands how layered and complex these experiences can be. Grief affects your body, your relationships, and your sense of self. However, with the right tools and emotional support, it becomes possible to move through grief in a way that is compassionate, grounded, and tailored to your own pace.

This guide offers practical tools and insights to help you understand grief more fully and navigate it with greater care.

Understanding What Grief Really Is

Grief is not just sadness. It can show up as:

• Anger
• Numbness or detachment
• Anxiety
• Difficulty concentrating
• Physical fatigue
• Sleep changes
• Guilt
• Relief
• Confusion about the future
  

The human nervous system responds to loss by trying to make sense of a world that suddenly feels different. According to the Center for Complicated Grief at Columbia University, grief is a natural adaptive process, but when it becomes overwhelming or prolonged, compassionate support can be essential.

Grief also affects each person differently depending on identity, past experiences, neurodiversity, family culture, social support, and the nature of the loss. There is no correct way to grieve and no standard timeline. Affirming therapy focuses on helping you uncover what your grief looks like, rather than forcing you into a model that does not fit.

To learn more about the supportive framework Anne-Marie uses in her work, you can visit her How I Work page here: https://www.abassolmft.com/how-i-work

Why Grief Feels So Overwhelming

Loss disrupts your sense of safety and belonging. It disrupts daily rhythms. It disrupts how you understand yourself and the world around you. When someone or something important to you is gone, the mind and body must reorganize in ways that can feel confusing or painful.

You may notice:

• Old memories resurfacing
• A shifting sense of identity
• Loss of motivation
• Feeling disconnected from others
• Emotional sensitivity or sudden tears
• The need for more time alone
• Changes in your attachment patterns
  

These experiences do not mean you are doing something wrong. They are the mind and body’s way of coping with something that matters to you.

Tool 1: Making Space for Your Emotions

One of the most powerful tools for navigating grief is giving yourself permission to feel what you feel. Many people try to push grief away because it feels too intense, or they worry it will never stop. But resisting emotion often makes it feel heavier over time.

Instead of forcing yourself to move on quickly, try giving your emotions small windows of attention. This can include:

• Journaling your thoughts
• Crying without judgment
• Talking to someone you trust
• Noticing sensations in your body
• Allowing sadness to exist without trying to fix it
  

Making space does not mean letting grief take over every moment. It means acknowledging that the emotional process is valid and deserves compassion.

Tool 2: Grounding Practices for Overwhelm

Because grief affects the nervous system, grounding techniques can help you stay connected to the present moment. When emotions feel too big, grounding can create a sense of stability.

Helpful grounding practices include:

• Deep breathing with long exhales
• Placing your feet firmly on the floor
• Naming five things you can see
• Holding something comforting like a warm mug or soft fabric
• Slow walks surrounded by nature
• Focusing on the rhythm of your footsteps

These practices do not erase grief. They help you return to your body so you can move through difficult moments without feeling lost inside them.

Tool 3: Building a Supportive Routine

Grief disrupts your internal and external rhythm. Creating simple, sustainable routines can give your nervous system a sense of structure during a time of emotional chaos.

Consider including:

• A gentle morning ritual
• Regular meals
• Movement that feels kind to your body
• Consistent sleep patterns
• Time outside
• Tending to a plant or small daily task

Routines help you hold both truths at once. Life has changed and yet you can still create new pockets of stability.

Tool 4: Finding Meaning in Your Experience

Grief often brings up existential questions about identity, purpose, connection, and the larger meaning of life. Therapy can help you make sense of these questions in a way that feels grounded rather than overwhelming.

Meaning making does not mean finding a reason for your loss. It means making sense of who you are now and how you want to move forward.

Therapy can support this exploration through:

• Reflective conversations
• Exploring emotional patterns
• Understanding relational history
• Healing attachment wounds
• Processing cultural and family influences

Meaning is deeply personal. You get to shape it in a way that honors your experience.

Tool 5: Allowing Yourself to Be Supported

Many people feel pressure to handle grief alone. You might worry about being a burden or believe you need to stay strong for others. But grief is relational. Humans heal in connection, not isolation.

Support can come from:

• Trusted friends or family
• Community groups
• Rituals that align with your culture or identity
• LGBTQ+ affirming spaces
• Grief-focused support groups
• A trained therapist
  

Therapy offers a consistent, nonjudgmental space where your emotions are met with care rather than pressure.

To learn more about Anne-Marie and how she supports adults navigating loss, you can visit her About page: https://www.abassolmft.com/about

Grief and Identity: Why the Experience Is Different for Everyone

Grief intersects with many parts of identity, including gender, sexuality, culture, race, neurodiversity, and family dynamics. LGBTQ+ individuals often experience additional layers of grief related to past rejection, relationships, identity discovery, or community losses. Many adults also grieve versions of themselves that never had permission to exist.

Affirming therapy honors these layers by creating a space where identity and loss can be explored together.

When Grief Feels Like Too Much

There is no correct timeline for grief, but there are moments when additional support is especially valuable. You may want to reach out for help if you notice:

• Persistent numbness
• Intense guilt or self blame
• Feeling disconnected from daily life
• Emotional burnout
• Difficulty functioning
• Long lasting despair
• A sense of being stuck

Therapy does not remove grief, but it helps you move through it with greater clarity and support.

Moving Forward With Compassion

Grief changes you. It reshapes your priorities, your identity, and your relationships. It opens up questions you never expected to ask. But it can also deepen your connection to yourself and your sense of what truly matters.

Healing does not mean forgetting. It means learning to hold love, memory, and loss in a way that honors your experience and supports your future.

If you are navigating grief or a major loss and want support from a therapist who understands the complexity of emotional healing, you are welcome to reach out for a consultation.